Aftermath

All the filming and recording is finished and i feel better. Editing the film was difficult emotionally due to the fact of hearing my voice and what i was saying. So for a good 6 hours i was left alone with my self dealing with memory.  It is hard for me to watch it despite how many times i have seen the video. I am thinking of actually sending it to both my mom and my ex to show them how i feel. I dunno what the reaction will be even if my mother will understand what is going on due to her alcoholism. The video is beginning to act like a wall. I know when i move out some time, i will have that video and it will remind me of the past. I have to live through what has happened now in these walls. I cant escape them now and even when i am out i will still carry them around me.